The Real Avenue Q
by bookqueen897
Summary: You saw the musical, and you thought you knew the story perfectly by heart. But that wasn't the real story. Princeton just had amnesia, and the residents of Avenue Q wanted to give him what he always wanted. So what was real? What was a hoax? Who is fighting? Who is married? You will only find out if you read it! R R btw, it's avenue q, expect adult themes in this!
1. Prologue Part 1

**HEY Y'ALL!**

**This is an idea I had floating around my brain forever, and I wanted to share it with all you fans of the Avenue Q. Some stuff about this musical never made sense to me. So, I put all those ideas into one story that will make you rethink ****everything you know about Avenue Q!**

**Also, this is a rewrite. The way i originally wrote it was bad. Like, _REALLY _bad! Okay that's a lie. But I made it better so I could continue with the story. So yay! rewrite!**

**Okay, I'll shut up!**

**ENJOY!**

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Prologue part 1

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Princeton walked down to his home on Avenue Q, passing the stripper named Lucy on his way.

"Man, I feel bad for the poor girl," Princeton thought as he saw his cousin crying under a bench. She lost her eyesight years ago, and her life had never been the same. She lost her job, cut off the rest of the family, her husband left her with their child, and it drove her to prostitution, which she wasn't good at because of her lack of vision. Now, she will flaunt her body off to anybody, whether they pay or not.

Princeton silently dropped a dollar to her through the bench, as well as a few quarters. When the coins dropped on her, Lucy stiffened, and turned, and flashed Princeton, as well as a very stressed man in a suit, whose eyes lite up at her. Not that she could tell or anything, since she was blind.

Chuckling to himself, Princeton went home to Avenue Q, where his lovely wife, Kate, was finishing up preparing dinner for him.

"How's Lucy, hon?" Kate asked her husband, who had been gobbling up dinner from the moment it was set I front of him.

"Still blind, still a slut. Although I think she made some poor stressed sap's day when she flashed me for giving her a few bucks for food." Princeton replied once his food had basically vanished. Kate smiled at her husband's generosity, no matter how bad things got for them, Princeton believed that there was always someone who had it worse, and gave as much money to people as he could. He loved the feeling of self-accomplishment he always got when he gave charity, and it made her almost cry on joy. Especially when he brought her with him, and Kate saw the difference he had made.

As she was remembering how Princeton had helped Gary Coleman get the rat out of the toilet for the reward of free pizza, the happy couple heard a bunch of angry Japanese words coming from upstairs.

"Sigh, let's go baby." Kate sighed as she and Princeton went upstairs to separate the angry Christmas Eve from an annoyed Brian.

They were neighbors, and from the very first moment that they saw each other, they hated the other. Brian was everything Christmas Eve hated about America. He was fat, he was lazy, and he was jobless. What was the point of being in America if you weren't going to have a job?

On the other hand, Christmas Eve was something Brian couldn't get over. She was Asian. Although he denied it so much, he was incredibly racist against Asians. And Christmas Eve matched every racial thought Brian every heard or had.

So naturally, when he wasn't laughing at her about this, he hated her. Which caused her to yell at him.

Which meant that every single day, Kate and Princeton had to keep them from killing each other.

And everyday, this happened.

"BRIAN! EVE! Why must you two always fight when I'm arriving home from work!?" Rod complained loudly, briefcase in hand. His apartment door opened, and Nicky came out, hair tousled, stubble coming in, grumbling from being worked up from his nap. Just like everyday.

"Hey, Roddy!" Nicky brightens up, and almost runs over his boyfriend.

"Ah, hello Nicolas! How was your day? Did you start dinner?" Rod grinned, forgetting that Christmas Eve and Brian were fighting with each other.

And, just like it did everyday, Gary and Trekkie come out of Trekkie's apartment to see what all the commotion is about.

"HEY! What you all complainin' about TODAY!?" Gary snapped at the rivals. They began to explain their argument to the annoyed Gary while Trekkie just glared at his brother in law, as if he had something to do about it.

Before you start wondering, no, Gary and Trekkie aren't dating nor are they gay. They always play video games together everyday at this time, though. And everyday, they have to shut off the game to see why the noise hasn't resolved itself.

Trekkie is pretty sure it's because Princeton and Kate wish that he didn't spend eternity on the video game. Since Kate is his younger sister, she is worried that Trekkie wouldn't find a girl friend or take interest in women before he was too old to date. So everyday, Trekkie believed that his gameplay was interrupted to get him away from it.

And everyday, while everyone was outside Brian and Christmas Eve's apartments, Kate and Princeton sneak away to finish their dinner, and go to bed so that they could get a head start in the morning.

Except this day, Princeton was tired of it all.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" He yelled louder than anyone had ever heard him yell. Including Kate. Everyone suddenly stopped their arguing and such, and stared at Princeton, shocked.

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH ALL OF THIS ARGUING! EVERYDAY, IT'S THE SAME OLD ROUTINE! CHRISTMAS EVE AND BRIAN FIGHT, KATE AND I TRY TO FIX IT, NICKY AND ROD GO ALL SMOOCHY GUSHY INSTEAD OF HELPING, AND GARY AND TREKKIE STOP THEIR GAME TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON, WHICH MAKES TREKKIE GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK! I'VE MISSED TOO MANY DINNERS BECAUSE OF THIS ROUTINE! WELL I'M DONE! IF I HAD GOTTEN THAT BACHELORS DEGREE IN ENGLISH, MY LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER! BUT NO!" Princeton began to back away from all his friends and some family, not noticing the railing behind him, "I HAD TO QUIT COLLEGE AND TRY MY LUCK IN THE REAL WORLD WITH MY CRUMMY JOB INSTEAD! I JUST WISH...I just wish that...well, I wish I could make my beautiful wife's dream come true. I mean, imagine what you could do if I had gotten the bachelors degree in English instead of dropping out, Kate! You would be on your way to your dream, working as much as your heart desired, making a difference for children and monster children everywhere! But then I think about all of you guys, and how I affected you. Brian, Christmas Eve! I bet you two would hate each other as much if I weren't around! Nicky, if it wasn't for me, you might still be in the closet, hell! I bet Rod would still be in the closet! Trekkie, you wouldn't have any need to waste your life on video games, you'd be enjoying all the enjoyments the Internet and television provide, and Gary..." Gary tapped his foot impatiently. "Well, I don't know if your life would be different. I barley helped you get here."

"Wow Princeton, thanks for that bit of insurance. Makes me feel so accomplished!" Gary sarcastically said back to the orange man. The sarcasm reminded Princeton that he was upset, a fact he had failed to remember when he thought of Gary and his pathetic life.

"WELL I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I CAN'T STAND THE SAME DAMN ROUTINE EVERYDAY! I CAN'T TAKE THE ARGUING! I JUST CA-"

And then Princeton fell over the balcony, landing with a loud CRASH!

"PRINCETON!" Kate cried, as all the residents of Avenue Q and herself ran downstairs to see what was wrong.

"Nicholas, call 911, NOW!" Rod told his boyfriend, who ran inside again, panicky.

"Princeton? Princeton! Can your hear me? PRINCETON!" Kate cried, Christmas Eve and Trekkie comforting her as Gary, Rod, and Nicky, who had returned from calling 911, attended to the unconscious Princeton.

Soon, everyone heard sirens in the background, and for the first time on Avenue Q, all the residents were silent.

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**HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THAT!**

**Not too different from the original!**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Prologue Part 2

**HIIIIII**

**Okay, so this was also rewritten, & that was ****because I ABSOLUTELY HATED THE OLD ENDING! the characters were so OOC that it made me sick just thinking about it. Hopefully, this ending is better!**

**read & enjoy!**

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Prologue part 2

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"Mrs. Princeton?" A doctor called to the waiting room of the hospital next to Avenue A.

An exhausted Kate rose, along with Nicky, Trekkie, Gary, Brian, and Christmas Eve. Rod would be there, but he had a work thing to go to, and couldn't get out of it. The Avenue Q residents followed the doctor to the room Princeton was in, and Kate immediately gasped in shock. Princeton laid on his bed, seemingly motionless.

"He...he seems so...so...so broken!" Kate cries, turning to her brother, who put a comforting arm around her. As much as he hated to admit it, he was upset about Princeton's accident as well. "I mean," Trekkie thought to himself, "he's family now. He's technically my brother, and no matter how much he tries to stop my gaming, I know that he will always be there for me...I wish he was better."

For the first time, Brian and Christmas Eve were in the same room without bickering or making each others lives misery. They may hate each other, but Kate is so nice to both of them, Princeton hates when they argue, and they both knew that their bickering would only make everything worse. Besides, they were miserable already.

Gary and Nicky were upset for their closest friend, especially Nicky, who could always count on Princeton when he went through coming out of the closet and asking out Rod. They had been through so much, and it hurt Nicky to see Princeton in such a horrible physical condition.

"How rong wirr he be hele for?" Christmas Eve finally squeaked, breaking the upsetting silence with her "Asian" accent. Everyone waited for Brian to giggle or roll his eyes, but he was too upset to bug anyone at the moment. Also, if Princeton woke up to find them fighting, he probably would throw himself out the window.

"Well," the doctor began, "we don't know. Our hope is to not keep him here for too long. A month or so. However, it is possible, and most likely, that he won't recover completely from this."

"What are you talking about, doctor!" Gary spoke up from the back, confused.

"What I'm talking about, Mr. Colman, is that, in addition to all the physical damage he has, your friend here is in a coma. When he wakes up, he will have amnesia. We don't know about how long he'll have it or if he'll ever be the same again. We have never seen a true permanent case of amnesia for falling off a balcony, but there's a first time for everything."

The doctor left, and the residents of Avenue Q were once again silent.

"Nicky, you don't have to stay with me and Princeton here. Go home to Rod! In sure he'll want you to not worry yourself sick about this too." Kate insists as her husband's jobless friend remained seated in the hospital room.

"Aww, come on Kate! Please let me stay!" Nicky plead, "Princeton is one of my best friends! We were in the same fraternity together before he dropped out! He's like a brother to me! Besides, Rod is working late again tonight and I'm sure you'll drive yourself insane without some other company. Can't I stay? Please?"

Kate sighed, but complies with Nicky's request to stay. "But only on one condition." She tells him.

"Anything! What is it?"

"Well, remember when Princeton was yelling at us, saying all those...things about us?" Kate asks.

"As much as I would like to repress the memory, yes, I still remember. What about it?"

"Well," Kate began, "a part of his speech is really bugging me. Everything Princeton said about me achieving my dream and him achieving his dream...I don't know, it just...got to me."

"That's probably because it was about you, Kate."

"SHUT UP NICKY, I KNOW THAT'S WHY!" Kate yelled, but then pitifully continued.

Nicky began thinking to himself about the situation. If Princeton went to college longer than a week, and Kate pursued her dream, everyone's lives might have been different. Princeton was right about one thing, he sure wouldn't be gay yet. Not outwardly anyway. Was giving up Rod so Princeton could achieve something awesome worth anything?

"...I know it's sounds stupid since he is getting too old to go back to college, but maybe now he has a chance to do something amazing with his life! Although a degree in English isn't very helpful, but who knows. Princeton deserves to achieve his dreams and-"

"Kate, stop talking for a second! I have an idea!"

"Humph! Well I'm not sure I want to hear it considering I was opening my heart to you and you cut me off!"

"Uuuuugh! Okay okay I'm sorry now listen!"

"No, not until I finish."

"Damn, Princeton was right, you should go into teaching!"

"...and he always felt so good when he gave money; he said it brought him closer to god! Princeton is so amazing! And once-"

"KATE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU'VE BEEN TALKING NONSTOP ABOUT NOTHING BUT PRINCETON FOR ABOUT...TWO HOURS! CAN I TALK NOW!?"

"Humph! No!"

"Aaaaagh! Fine, continue! But now you'll never know how I was going to help Princeton achieve his dream!"

"Wait...what?"

"No!" Nickey was fuming, "just continue your "interesting" stories about Princeton and your endless ranting about how amazing he is!"

"Well...if you say so! As I was saying..."

This went on for three hours before Kate finally fell asleep. Nicky's idea was still unsaid.

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**did you all enjoy? i sure hope so! next chapter is all new! review your thought of this story to me!**


	3. Prologue Part 3

**HEY! NEWEST CHAPTER UP NOW FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!**

**ill be leaving for camp prob before the next chapter is done, so enjoy this cuz it will be a while before the next one was up**

**SO ENJOY!**

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Prologue part 3

It was a quiet day at Avenue Q when the disheveled girl monster finally came home. Kate had been staying at the hospital all day and all night for weeks, and Princeton still didn't show any signs of waking up. Kate didn't want to admit it, but she was quickly losing hope. She was also feeling guilty about causing this in the first place.

"Kate!" Christmas Eve exclaims as she and Rod run over to Kate, "How is Plinceton?"

Sighing, Kate answers, "same old, same old." A few tears leak out of Kate's eyes, and she attempts to hide them from her best friends. She's too slow, Rod notices right away.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" He asks as he wipes away the tears. This gesture only makes Kate more upset, and only tells him a quick "No" before completely bursting into tears on Rod's jacket.

"Careful! This is an Italian super 120! It's very expensive! You're going to stain it!" Rod cried out, realizing that as rude as he was being, he had spent too much on the suit to lose it now.

"SHUT UP LOD!" Yelled both Christmas Eve and Kate (who moved from Rod's shoulder to Christmas Eve's).

"Yeah Rod! Shut your mouth!" Gary laughed, leaving his office with Trekkie. Their daily video gaming had been reduced to once a week since Trekkie was stressing out in a way that, for once, video games weren't the cure. He was actually frightened for his brother in law, as well as his little sister. Kate wasn't sleeping well, he knew, and Trekkie refused to be the one to tell mom that Kate lost everything while Princeton was in a coma.

"Little sister, you okay?" Trekkie asked hastily, noticing his sister's sad eyes and brittle dull fur.

"Of course not! Princeton is still asleep, and it's all my fault!"

"Kate, darling, it's not your fault!" Rod said soothingly, "You couldn't have prevented him from falling. It screaming. Besides, if anyone's the blame, it's your fault, Christmas Eve!"

"My faurt!" She screamed, furious, "what about Blian! He stalted it! He arways stalts it!"

Brian walked out of his apartment just in time to hear those words come out of Eve's mouth, and was now fuming!

"Well I wouldn't have to start it if you hadn't come to America, you insufferable Asian! Why can't you just go back to your hippy-dippy-stuck-up-yellow-fever-ridden-never-say ing-no-small-and-skinny-always-smiling-futuristic- dog-and-cat-eating-working-in-a-factory-24/7-repre ssed-society-super-smart-short-stature-pushy-as-he ll-slits-for-eyes crap hole of a county where you came from and belong!"

SMACK!

"OWWW!" Brain yelled, rubbing his hand over his sore cheek, and trying to avoid Christmas Eve's death glare.

"Amelica's not arr it's clacked up to be eithel, Blain! Most of these Amelicans don't have jobs, incruding you! And don't get me stalted on those stupid taxis! So dilty! But whire I'm tarking about hygiene, oh I'm solly, you plobary nevel even heald of that wold befole!"

"Can any of you guys following this?" Gary whispered to Kate, Rod, and Trekkie as Christmas Eve continued to lecture Brian.

"Nope." said Kate.

"Not at all." Rod responded.

"What makes you think I can follow couples' fights?" Trekkie replied in his overly loud voice.

"WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!" Shouted Brian and Christmas Eve simultaneously. Then they both stuck their tongues out at each other, and stormed into their respected apartments.

"Way to go, Trekkie, now you've made them even angrier at each other!" Kate scolded her brother.

"Well soooorry!" Trekkie snapped back, soaking every word with sarcasm. "It's not my fault they act like they're an old married couple on the verge of a divorce!"

Gary, doubled over in hysterics, slapped his buddy's back, "you said it, Trek!"

Rod just rolled his eyes, and headed to his own apartment.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Rod turned around, "Kate! Nicholas wants to tell you something! It's about Princeton and you!"

"What! Why didn't he tell me when he was watching over Princeton with me?"

"He said you wouldn't listen to him. Anyway, just text him tonight," Rod started giggling, "my Nicholas and I have an important...activity to celebrate this wonderful Saturday evening." And with that, Rod giggled his way inside his apartment.

"Whatever this idea is, it better be worth the weirdness of hearing Rod giggle about having sex with Nicky." Gary responded awkwardly as he went back to his own apartment and the Monster sibling went to Kate's for dinner.

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**so yeah! good right!**

**REVIEW!**


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